"I've got to cut the pieces out!"

It WAS a sign when the UPS truck drove by as I watched Big Brown's workout the other day.

Postal Workers, Teachers, and Prisoners alike seem to like Pyro.

I plan on betting conservatively: Colonel John, Big Brown, and a few live longshots.

I watched the Kentucky Derby Post Position Selection show earlier. It was quite enjoyable. I still feel like Colonel John is my Derby horse. He's got the look, the moves, and the breeding. That said, I think Big Brown is very, very, talented, but I am always hesitant to back a speed horse in the Derby. That doesn't mean I wouldn't cheer my head off if Big Brown ran away with the race, though.

I am reading The Best American Poetry 2007. I am not finding it very enjoyable. There are a few poems in it that aren't bad, but McHugh's selections highlight the two most intolerable things about the contemporary poetry world: politics and cronyism. I have two pieces of advice to McHugh. 1. A poem is not good because it is written about the war in Iraq, and 2. A poem is not good because it is written by someone who works with you.

Today, I teamed up with another teacher in order to catch the "door kicker" who had been kicking the English Office's door between periods. We caught him, and he denied it. When we were interrogating him, I wanted to yell something like, "We know you're guilty, son," but I didn't.

Yesterday, I had to have a talk with a student about not being too "creepy."

This video shows that Curlin's the best horse in the world. My other Derby horse, Great Hunter, closed for fifth. But as they say, Curlin was "much the best."

I've attempted to add my made-in-February EP The Pneumonia Files to this page. I hope it works. In any case, here is the link.

I made it all on my Korg Kaossilator. There are no overdubs other than those I did live with the Kaossilator's looper. And it's all improvised.

I CAN'T STAND FRANK ZAPPA

If you went to college with me, you know I used to be a huge Zappa fan. I have a large collection of Zappa CDs that used to be in heavy rotation in my car and at home. Now all those CDs are in a box in a closet. The box is covered with sweaters.

The first thing that drives me nuts about Zappa is that there's a cult that has taken residence in his old home and studio. The ultimate manifestation of this cult was the recent spree of "Zappa Plays Zappa" concerts. People asked me all the time if I was going to go to one of those shows. I always said no, and have never regretted it. I've already seen a Zappa cover band; I don't need to see another. I was REALLY glad I didn't see the group after reading the Modern Drummer interview with the group's drummer, Joe Traver (or is it Travers? Whatever). That was the worst article I've ever read. I don't know why it's possible to get coverage in a major music magazine when all you do is cop other peoples' styles.

The other thing that I've realized is that I'm just too old for the old Zappa tunes. I was never really crazy about his vocal music; now I can't stand it. Whenever I hear it, I... wait, let me revise... whenever I hear his music or think of the man, I think of someone who's trying to prove he's smarter than everyone else out there: other musicians, critics, listeners, it doesn't matter.

Yet all I hear is, "Frank Zappa was a genius." No, he wasn't. Charlie Parker and Eric Dolphy-- now those are geniuses. Go listen to their music.